Consuming Less Creating More

Calming the chaos by putting down the damned phone.

Photo by Customerbox on Unsplash

Two weeks ago I decided to try breaking my phone/Internet habit to clear up some space in my mind, and make more room for my fictional world.

For a long time, I’d been stuck. It’s like being on one of those annoying roundabouts, driving in circles unable to decide which road to take. My thoughts constantly spinning from one idea to the next, plotting and planning but unable to settle in and actually write beyond the beginning. Every ten minutes I’d be reaching for my phone, not to do anything useful, not engaging with people, just scrolling Notes mindlessly or checking Facebook—and regretting it—or crazier still checking the weather forecast many times a day. Yeah, it was that bad.

I seriously felt as if my brain were broken. I began to question why I even write and think about finding a new hobby. This led to a feeling of utter hopelessness. Making up stories is what I do, it’s what I’ve always done. Who even am I if I don’t write?

Do I need therapy? An antidepressant? Or do I just need to find the self help/writing book/article that will finally cure me?

Then something shifted. I had an afternoon to myself on Father’s Day, while my husband and son were at a baseball game. I walked to a coffee shop, started writing in my journal and found myself listing all the behaviors and beliefs that I want to let go of. It’s a very long list and still getting longer.

I’ve been doing visualization. I see the words “Letting go of…” written in clouds in the sky. I watch them float away, and join other clouds. It might sound too simple and a bit hokey if you’re not into that sort of thing, but it’s been helping. A lot, actually.

Here’s an example: I’m letting go of the belief that I am broken, physically/creatively and that the answer to fixing my brain/mind exists outside of me—in a blog post or on a bookshelf.

The overconsumption of content does not lead to solutions. It has become the problem.

I’m letting go of writing advice that does not serve me. This is a long list that includes every book/article I’ve ever read that contains words like, pantster, plotter, structure, snowflake, killing cats etc. These methods must work for some people. They do not work for me.

What does work for me?

Coloring.

Seriously.

I bought some adult coloring books to help break the phone habit. I just wanted to keep my hands busy. I didn’t expect it to be so good for my mind.

For so long I believed that what I needed was better focus. Turns out, I needed the opposite. I needed to stop trying to focus and let my thoughts drift. It’s when I’m relaxing, daydreaming even, that my characters speak to me.

It’s also been fun to hear my own thoughts again. The ones that were blocked out by reading something every free minute.

I’m letting go of every article I’ve ever read that focused on productivity, and tracking word counts.

I’m letting go of If you write this many words every day you’ll have a novel at the end of the year.

A novel is far more complex than a number of words.

I’ve found it helpful to keep my notebook next to me while coloring. When an idea comes to me, I jot it down. When I read over these notes later, I find that some are useful and others aren’t but that’s okay. It’s better to be patient than to wrack my brain trying to figure out what comes next or veer off in an entirely wrong direction and write whole chapters that I will end up deleting.

I’m letting go of the idea that writing something is always better than not writing anything because you can’t edit a blank page.

On the surface this is logical, sure, but sometimes it’s better to wait it out rather than forge ahead. Or just take a break. Really, it’s allowed.

I’m letting go of Writing is butt in chair, hands on keyboard.

Sometimes writing is going for a walk, sitting under a tree staring into space, or coloring a picture. Some of us do our best creating when our hands are not on the keyboard.

Well, that’s it for now. I hope you got something useful out of this.

Happy Reading!

(Or writing, drawing, coloring, knitting, gardening, wood carving, or whatever else gets your creative juices flowing.)